The Lola Shuffle - The "DANGER - I Have Access to a Free Frequent Flier Round-Trip Ticket to Europe and a Passport" Edition

I'm about ready to take a cab to MIA walk up to the American Airlines ticket counter and buy a ticket to the next plane to anywhere in Europe. Seriously.

I don't want to be in charge of things, handle things or plan things. No. I don't want to talk to the nice case manager from the home health care company who is being harassed by the thugs who call themselves my health insurance company. I don't want to think about when the frickin' frackin' car will be ready to get out of the repair shop or how much it's going to cost or if the mechanic was able to get a used part for the car seat that isn't working right. I don't want to think about how to distribute my 401K, which by the way will no longer be matched by my employer because the economy is f'd up. I don't want to think about how Hubby will endure the plane ride to his sister's wedding at the end of March.

I just don't.

Instead I want to listen to what Lola has shuffled up - because see, *she's* in charge of that - I have nothing at all to do with what comes up. So, go on Lola, shuffle away please. I'll just lay here under my desk rocking in the fetal position while sucking my thumb.

1. Maybe Baby - Buddy Holly
2. That's the Way of the World - Earth, Wind & Fire
3. Swing - Trace Adkins
4. This Old House - Brian Setzer Orchestra
5. Jungle Love - Steve Miller Band
6. Time - Hootie and the Blow Fish
7. Life in the Fast Lane - The Eagles
8. Everlasting Love - Gloria Estefan
9. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
10. I Never Promised You a Rose Garden - Martina McBride

Have a great weekend - maybe I'll see you at the airport!

How much to bail you out?

[NOTE: I got this from Facebook]

Read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine.

Keep going until you've read each 'offense' and added up
your total fine.

You don't have to confess your answers, just tell us the total fine by posting it in my Comments section.

My bail is $370!

******************************************

1) Smoked pot -- $10

2) Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk --$50

3) Cheated on your significant other -- $10

4) Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

5) Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

6) Went streaking -- $5

7) Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

8) Kissed a co-worker-- $ 20

9) Kissed your boss --$50

10) Been arrested -- $5

11) Spent time in jail -- $15

12) Peed in the pool -- $0.50

13) Played spin the bottle -- $5

14) Done something you regret -- $20

15) Slept with your best friend >-- $20

16) Been in love with a stripper -- $20

17) Went skinny dipping -- $5

18) Been slapped-- $5

19) Slapped someone-- $5

20) Beat up someone -- $20

21) Been jumped -- $10

22) Ever had sex at church -- $25

23) Dated someone you met on My Space -- $25

24) Cheated on test -- $50

25) Vandalized something -- $20

26) Slept with someone in your parents' bed -- $100

27) Crossed dressed -- $10

28) Given money to stripper -- $25

29) Flirted with an officer to get out of a ticket-- $30

30) Been in love with a stripper -- $20

31) Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10

32) Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15

33) Ever drive drunk -- $20

34) Used toys while having sex -- $30

35) Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

36) Had sex in a pool -- $20

37) Masturbated -- $10

38) Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$20

39) Done oral -- $5

40) Got oral -- $5

41) Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25

42) Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40

44) Slept with someone who has been in jail -- $25

45) Made a dirty home video -- $15

46) Plan on making a dirty home video in the near future --$30

47) Had a threesome -- $50

48) Had sex in a public place-- $20

49) Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25

50) Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars --$20

51) Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20

52) Kissed a teacher while you were still a student--$25

53) Lied to your mate -- $5

54) Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

'Toon Tuesday

The Lola Shuffle - The "Good and Bad Day" Edition

Above are pictures of two of the people I've loved most in my life - my husband and my mother. Today I'm thinking about both of them more than usual.

First I'll tell you about my husband - Hubby has been sick for about three weeks from what was kicked off by a recurring infection and because of the infection we've discovered that he's apparently been suffering from extreme lack of oxygenation most likely due to undiagnosed (despite two prior sleep studies) apnea. After being in the hospital since Tuesday, last night he went through a test that involved his wearing a CPAP (mask used for apnea treatment) while he slept. Before the test however, while I was there for the evening, he was completely out of it, disoriented and eventually sleep-talking (all these symptoms of apnea). By the time I left he was so asleep and unable to fully wake up that he didn't recognize me when I was saying goodnight - he looked at me like I was a stranger.

It killed me. This leads me to my mother.

Mami died a year ago today. Because she was suffering from Alzheimer's my fear had always been the day she wouldn't recognize me - thankfully that day never came, she died while still able to recognize all the people in her life.

While I *intellectually* understood that Hubby was sleep talking and not really conscious, I guess that when he didn't recognize me on the eve of the anniversary of Mami's death, it just broke me a little bit.

Thankfully my best friend picked me up at the hospital and consoled, cajoled, yelled, and at one point smacked me until I was no longer a slobbering sobbing mess. Instead I was a snotty, whimpering mess - but believe me that was better.

Oh, by the way, when you've had a night from hell on the eve of a difficult day and you're alone in your apartment because your husband is in the hospital - it's not a good idea to eat an entire box of Kraft Whole Wheat Macaroni and Cheese by yourself at 11:30 p.m. I'm just saying...

The title of today's Lola shuffle (yes it's coming, I swear) is the Good and Bad Day Edition. The good part is that just one night wearing the CPAP mask worked wonders! This morning when I went to see Hubby before coming to work he was awake, alert, sharp and wonderful - at least for now, he may slip back a bit until he's a few sessions - but I'm counting this as a good day.

Obviously the bad day is because of my mom...I miss her every day in ways I wouldn't have expected. I could have used my mom's strength (when she was healthy) during this ordeal...she was a rock.

So Lola...what are you going to shuffle for this bi-polar day?

1. If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow
2. City of New Orleans - Willie Nelson
3. There's a Kind of Hush - Barry Manilow
4. Ven a Bailar - The Iguanas
5. Love Shack - The B-52s
6. Separate Ways - Journey
7. Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
8. Stormy Weather - Sarah Vaughn
9. La Vie en Rose - Edith Piaf (Nice touch Lola - Papi and Mami's "song")
10. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles

Good job Lola. I hope everyone has a great weekend - and don't forget to hug the people you love...

Book Review - "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" - David Sedaris

YAY! Sedaris is back! I loved this book!

I was wary because my Sedaris reading history had been mixed - ranging from the sublime "Me Talk Pretty One Day" to the awful "Barrel Fever". With "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" he's back to sublime.

I think I actually liked it better than "Me Talk Pretty One Day" because he seems to have mellowed with age. He still has a smart, acerbic wit - but he's not mean in this book. In fact there are even some stories that while still funny have more heart than his work in the past.

My favorite essay from the book was "April in Paris" where he talks about his *relationship* with a house spider he adopts and names April. Bitingly funny, but sweet nonetheless.

I definitely recommend it - IMO it's Sedaris at his best.

The Lola Shuffle - The "Shuffling at Twilight Because I Forgot During the Day" Edition

Oooops - I forgot to shuffle this morning. It's been a long, tough week and I was busy at work.

So, without further ado, shuffle something up for us Lola...

1. Scarborough Fair - Sarah Brightman
2. Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
3. Photograph - Nickelback
4. LDN - Lily Allen
5. Sugar Magnolia - Grateful Dead
6. Are We the Waiting - Green Day
7. Irreplaceable - Beyonce
8. Rehab - Amy Winehouse
9. Roxanne - The Police
10. Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

Have a great weekend!

Favorite Four

I got this via e-mail - seemed fun, quick and easy...

Favorite Fours - Copy, write over and please let me know in my Comments if you're posting it on your Blog.

A) Four places where I go to over and over: Work, Publix, CVS, Best Friend's house
B) Four people that e-mail me: Michelle, Cris, My Boss, My MIL
C) Four of my favorite places to eat: Versailles, Christy's, Lotus Siam, La Carreta
D) Four places I would rather be right now: Key West, New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle
E) Four TV shows I watch: 24, LOST, Brothers and Sisters, Fringe

Enjoy...

'Toon Tuesday